A REASON, A SEASON, A LIFETIME
Let’s make some simple observations. When you’re reading this article, where is it happening to you? It’s happening within yourself. The decision to continue reading this article is happening within yourself. Everything you have experienced in this world is happening within yourself. Happiness and joy have happened within you; pain and suffering have happened within you. Nothing you have ever experienced has happened outside of yourself. So, if we follow this line of reasoning, who should determine what happens within yourself? The answer is simple, you! Your whole experience of life is determined by you. You may never have control over circumstances happening outside of yourself, but, if you take charge of what’s happening inside of yourself, your whole experience of life will be determined by you. If not, anyone can step in and take charge of it.
Relationships we encounter in life are here for a purpose. For whatever reason, something is learned from them that will benefit our growth and development. Some of our greatest lessons come from bad relationships. It’s difficult for some people to move passed bad relationships because they choose to reminisce over the ashes of lingering memories.
Author, Randi Gunther, in her Psychology Today article “When It’s Time to Let a Relationship Go,” connects the relationship dynamics to your ability to stay in charge of how you experience it within yourself following its aftermath. According to Gunther, “There are some real and justifiable reasons why good people cannot seem to get through relationship difficulties, no matter how much energy and time they have devoted to each other.” Some individuals readily accept the idea that a relationship has gone the distance, while others might mourn the loss as a personal blow to their ego. The pain and suffering they experience within is ultimately determined by their inability to allow a relationship to pass away as the seasons change.
Hopes of retaining a life-long friendship, marriage, or family bond may dwindle as individuals grow apart during their expansion into further self-discovery, be it in their twenties all the way up to their sixties and beyond. Childhood and high school friendships lose ground after graduation. The same is true of relationships after college, marriages, children, relocations etc. Regardless of the outside circumstances, we determine how we experience these events within ourselves.
People really do come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime. More importantly, you have been placed in other’s lives for a reason, a season or a lifetime. It is in the process of healing others, that the greatest healing happens within yourself.
Originally published in the Bay City Tribune on Sunday, April 9, 2017