You don’t have to look very far to find individuals that have a penchant for changing others to fit into their own cookie-cutter molds. For many of us, we need look no further than the mirror.
Why is it so hard to accept others for who they are? Adele Tartaglia, author of Why We Try to Change Others puts it simply, “The beliefs, programs, memories, expectations, and emotions stored in our data bank, our subconscious mind, trigger in response to every event and are set on “automatic create” to continue the old operating systems, habitual reactions, biases, and goals that were installed there beginning from conception.”
It might be time for a belief system upgrade! Tartaglia reminds us, “When we change our sabotaging beliefs, our habitual thinking patterns, and routine behaviors, our life changes, our moods change, our expectations change, and we attract what we want to be attracting…our expectations being the prime force in creating and attracting.”
The message is beginning to come through loud and clear- change comes from within. We need to stop wasting our time and breathe in our futile attempt to change others. It’s our own programming that must be restructured. Expectations can be a game-changer. If you have negative expectations, you will encounter negative experiences. Deleting any negative thoughts and expectations about others is the key to finding inner peace in yourself. Tartaglia notes, “As long as you are waiting and wishing for someone else to change, you are disempowered and dependent for your stability and happiness on them. You have given that person power over you to control your happiness, peace, and sanity.”
Maintaining “inner peace” should be your main objective. Life changing results will occur when you stop focusing outside of yourself on others, and instead stay focused on the inside where the path to inner peace lies. Effective change comes from a place of love, never fear.
Originally published in the Bay City Tribune on Sunday, February12, 2017.